Over the years, I've heard it many, many times. When I hear someone is getting a divorce, here's what I think; nothing. I seriously don't really think or feel anything when I hear the word divorce. I mean, on some level, I think it's sad...as any end to love is. But I've never once considered what the two people are going through. Why? Ignorance. I was completely ignorant to the trauma that divorce inflicts.
Our decision to divorce wasn't some huge decision, some well-thought through thang. Instead it was a slow moving decision, like a slug on the sidewalk. The only thing I did think about was that our children would have to be told, and that would suck. Second on my mind was my elderly parents; who wants to be the bearer of bad news to an 85 year old and a 92 year old? Nobody. So, those things I'd thought about. What I didn't think about was the others; the friends, family, neighbors. Hell, even the mailman has to be told!
And I certainly didn't think through all the changes that would occur. I'd be single for the first time...well, ever. I went from my parent's home at age 19 to my husbands, where I've been ever since. Oh Dear God in Heaven! I'm going to be single for the first time. I've never even mowed my own lawn! Oh Gawd!
I also didn't think through the numerous changes I'd make and all the decisions I'd have to make. And I didn't think through how incredibly out of control everything would feel. That's where I am now ... ... out of control.
It will get better, right? ~ME
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